I’m a Master Chef

A perfectly balanced meal

There are few skills learned in college that are more practical than how to keep yourself alive. I’m not talking about financial stability (because student loans make sure that never happens), but rather the art of proper culinary expertise. And I can proudly say that I have mastered the craft.

Just take a look at this picture here. Four savory steak fingers, from the wonderfully all-organic farm of my freezer. A generous helping of delicious shredded chicken straight from a refrigerated bag. And, for sides, a rich assortment of Kroger brand shredded cheese.

And, of course, a mouthwatering garnish of oxygen on top, which gives the dish that little je ne sais quoi of perfection.

So, yeah, you can tell I’m definitely a master chef.

If you don’t believe me, I have a few other dishes to share with you that are sure to persuade you beyond any shadow of a doubt.

Three Course Meal

First, we have a three-course meal fit for a king: chilled eggs of the scrambled variety (which, in some cases, is more desirable than those served hot) to start; then, for the entree, a sizable chicken breast straight from the KFC leftovers in the fridge; finally, to top it all off, a fresh and hearty slice of red velvet cake. I’m not drooling you’re drooling.

If that wasn’t already amazing enough, the schedule of the college student was taken into consideration when preparing this feast: to ensure maximum satisfaction, everything is served all at once so nobody would be late to class.

Talk about going the extra mile.

Still not convinced? Okay, but, I will warn you, this next one is absolute culinary perfection.

Spaghetti and Dressing

In a show of goodwill, I will divulge the secret of this dish so you can enjoy it for yourself. After all, what good is it mastering a skill if you can’t pass it on for others?

First, start with a half portion of spaghetti and then add a similar portion of Thanksgiving dressing (not stuffing, there is a massive difference) and mix. Adjust the ratio of spaghetti and dressing as necessary.

Bon Appétit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *