Diptych Persona

Not a selfie

Definitely not a bathroom selfie.

If you don’t want people thinking you’re weird because you think you’re bipolar or have multiple personalities or personas, try calling it a diptych persona. Not only will no one have a clue as to what you’re talking about, but the weird looks will bring a smile to your face when you realize how smart you sound.

If you don’t like getting looked at weird, then you wouldn’t make it as me. First off, I have muttonchops. Seriously. In 2015. And then I walk around looking like this doofus to the right. And when I draw, I make really strange and unsettling faces. So I’m used to weird looks.

Diptych Persona 1: Siehe, meine Macht!

Like it or not, if you’ve sojourned into a land referred to as the “interwebs,” then you have a diptych persona (if not an undefined polyptych persona): the cyber-being is opposite (or at least noticeably different than) the physical disposition burdened by what some call “inhibitions.” And since I’ve been there, allow me to introduce myself again: “My name is Joseph, and my diptych persona makes people uncomfortable.”

When online, I seem to scream, “siehe, meine Macht!” which translates to “Behold my power!” Also, German sounds authoritative and scary at times, so it seems fitting. And it fits.

With text, I don’t stumble over my words, so I can actually say what I want to say, and, thanks to being the one kid who liked to read, my vocabulary became rather robust over the years. I could prove it, but a boisterous braggart is more annoying than pelican excrement.

FluffyWaffles the Warrior

A completely legit ancient illustration of my forefather, Joseph I.

Also, I’ve found that my written voice tends to be a little sure of itself, and, when coupled with this totally not fabricated ancient scroll I found, the picture of a strong-willed and not at all gawky manly man is easy to visualize.

Diptych Persona 2: ne me regarde pas.

Put in a room with actual people, though, and all of a sudden it’s like I’ve barricaded myself from any and all human interaction.

“I don’t talk good,” the excuse goes. “And people bad. People scary.”

All of a sudden that mighty, gallivanting dork is a meek, socially-awkward weirdo who once turned a girl down because he would’ve had to go to a public social event. No more the German mastermind, he’s now the surrendering Frenchman or the Swiss guy over in the corner.

And that, my friends, is the enigma of the diptych persona: polar opposites, although I imagine persona one wants more than anything to destroy persona two. Persona two, on the other hand, just wants to go play some Smash.

Diptych Persona 2.3: the Pragmatist

“Now, now,” two-point-three says. “This blog was supposed to be about the daily life of a cartoonist. What is this nonsense?”

While that ancient scroll is obviously not fabricated by any Joseph around here, this blog is called “Comic Relief”, which details the struggles of the local Joseph in his quest to become a “master artist.” Personality quandaries are a part of that. Without exploring how my mind operates, it would be impossible to grasp how and why I react to what follows the way I do. Context is key.

Also, it gives the three people in my writing class who actually read my blog posts a chance to laugh at me and feel better about their own psychological issues.


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